Guns For Tards

Executive Board of Directors   

Our board of directors boasts a think tank made up of some of the most brilliant mind from all walks of life. From disbarred attorneys, disgraced former radio hosts and educators who have been run out of academia. 

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Gerard F. Murtha    - President & Director

Gerard Murtha is a disbarred former Defense Attorney based in St. Petersberg, FL. He is one of the original founders and benefactors of the Guns For Tards citizen's action movement. 

When asked about his disbarment, Mr. Murtha only insists that the details surrounding the fiasco have been misreported and that the "victim" in question was "much older than they said in the papers." 

Fake Alex Jones - Media Relations Director

Not to be confused with the real Alex Jones. Fake Alex Jones is the main spokesperson for Guns For Tards, in addition to handling our media relations. 

Fake Alex Jones can be reached on Twitter: @fakeinfowars

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Alcoholic, Iconoclast...unemployed. A lot can be said about one of the benefactors and original founders of Guns For Tards. The grandson of IRA Members, Mersh emigrated to the US in the mid 1980s and settled in NY where he pursued many passions, most of them to no success.

Mersh can be reached on Twitter: @mersh 

Sheik Admir Al-Akbar - Fundraiser

We'll admit that we do not know very much about the mysterious Sheik. We're honestly not entirely sure that he's a Sheik, or a Saudi Prince. None of our contacts in Riyadh have ever heard of him. But he has garbage bags full of money, he holds 11 PHDs from an Afghani University and owns a sizable stake in a large, international conglomerate based in Macedonia* that produces everything from meat and dairy products to soap and tires. We are told they do all of this poorly.  The Sheik believes in "Freedom through tyranny" whatever that means.

*UPDATE: In honor of full disclosure, we must inform our supporters that The Sheik's company does own a subsidiary based in Eastern Europe that produces inexpensive firearms. We at Guns For Tards assure you we have NO dealings with "Sword of God Firearms Inc" or the rebel activity in surrounding Balkan nations. 

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Venkat Patel - Cyber Security Expert

Hired via Fiverr, Mr. Patel does most of his work remotely from his "high tech cyber fortress" in Hyderabad, India. It's really just a crowded cyber cafe where he also sells "Clash of Clan" gold and MMORPG accounts.

As soon as he gets your phone number or Facebook account, he will pester you for nudes. 


Wall Of Dunces

In order for us to maintain this website, promote and expand our reach and to arm tards throughout America, Guns For Tards requires money. Our battle is in the halls of Washington DC and fighting those guys takes money. We are constantly sending promotional materials to the men in charge, as well as bribing our government officials. And it's not just steak dinners and Football tickets. It's everything. And when a certain Congressman from a certain Peach State decides he wants to do blow, he can go all night. And there's another elected official from a certain state that rhymes with Brennsylvania who has an appetite for girls who are....borderline "Pizzagatesque".

Below is a list of patriots who have donated to Guns For Tards

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Wall Of Cucks

Enemies of Guns For Tards, Enemies of Liberty